The Beekeeper.

thanks for the photos you sent today...they made me think about this one photographer who did the liner notes for Tori Amos' album The Beekeeper. Terrible album, but i was always impressed with the photos. The video for the first single off the album was always really beautiful (it's below too). i think her name is Aya Kato.

OMG.

wow....yes. yes on artist statement. i need to talk to you about this, like, right now. regarding the sex / sexuality issue. i think you and are struggling with this, though in different ways. but i want to talk to you about it, not write it down here (it's a little too tender for me right now). a lot of the thinking i've been doing in regards to my work made me realize that i am hugely afraid of physical intimacy.

ok....i did already rewrite a bit of the thesis proposal (guess i am going to hand it in tomorrow...things have been terribly disorganized in the department, no one tells us anything), after RH and i had our talk yesterday. it's a lot better now, i think. i hope the grammar wasn't too terrible.

thesis + etc

I did not nitpick your thesis for grammar.  But I have now read it twice and find it clear, honest, and insightful. I hope you think so, too (fairly sure it sucks, give me a break :-) )I know you turn it in tomorrow (now today?), but I would still like to talk to you about it.

I have since revised and expanded my artist statement.  I have not reviewed my newest revision closely (so hopefully only a few little rough edges, maybe a few transitions?)... my last one was very clear, but i got from Annabeth who saw it on my desk when we were talking, that it was a bit superficial.  So I decided to pull out all the stops.  It is reaching in the sense that my work is still becoming what the statement is (although very almost there, more intensity/focus required in execution).  Annabeth said that although my new work is a thrilling leap, she sensed some timidity in my execution.  She wanted more overtness in some ways... more boldness.  I think the same principle applies to my statement, which I pretty much went to balls to the wall personal with.

Here it is:

I capture photographs of emotionally charged moments of myself in theatrical and densely layered sets.  I explore how sexual and romantic desire conflicts with spiritual desire for greater awareness of myself and the world. I am in a similar position to shackled prisoners in Plato’s allegory cave. In the allegory, the prisoners entire reality is of shadows cast by firelight from marionettes onto a cave wall.  Elated, terrified, and titillated by shadow, the prisoners are unaware that the cause of their suffering is a gross unreality.  

Sexual desire, analogous to the most titillating of all the shadows the prisoners see, is engrossing, overwhelming and, when unsatisfied, devastating. In the scenes I choreograph, I am naked, aroused, my face covered and my sight blocked. I am locked into gratifying my sexual and romantic desire. Hurt when the love and passion I give is icily rejected, I get still more controlled by desire, which causes suffering and dysfunction I am unable or afraid to acknowledge. Desire for personal growth sputters to a standstill.

The viewer of my work is able to empathize with my limited perspective as subject, but has a much broader view of the scenario unfolding. Instead of being in the subject’s masked position, the viewer has a different perspective and can see the mechanics and cause of the subject’s suffering. The viewer’s objectivity is analogous to, in Plato’s allegory, the view of a few prisoners who break free of their bounds.   Shackles loosened, the prisoners are able to stand up and look around for the first time.  Because their whole life was shadows on a wall, the freed are initially baffled by their new perspective of their old surroundings.  Soon, they realize that their whole lives were dictated by the puppets, a children’s plaything. They are finally able to understand the root of their suffering.  Through understanding, they are enlightened and empowered.

My work incorporates sculpture, installation, and performance, although the final product is a photograph. The emotions I represent are intense, immediate and ultimately fleeting; so too are the colors I use, the sets I construct and the materials I use.  The sets are ephemeral and loosely constructed, ready to be collapsed and stored away.

I layer materials with particular attention to the intensity of light and the illusion of shadow.  For example, through lighting, a sphere can cast a shadow of a square.  Or a flat surface can be made to look three dimensional.  Through the layering of forms and the play of light, what is seen becomes unclear, perception played with.  I use photography to flatten out space and further heighten this visual ambiguity.  The limit of a photograph’s frame is an opportunity to play with its boundaries.  A form can be out of the picture but its shadow projected and layered onto forms within the frame.

My visual choices support the stories of illusion, loss, and suffering I aim to depict.  I use spiritual iconography, such as shapes of religious symbols and ritualistic positions of my body to add another layer to the more overt erotic symbols in the scenes. The viewer sees scenes that are many layered and packed with forms, but upon closer inspection, might see that each layer and each form are metaphors that build an enigmatic and provocative narrative. 

rewritten thesis proposal

i am fairly sure this sucks.

My life experience has been marked by a sensitivity and hyperawareness of my physical body. How I feel about my body, more than anything else, has informed how I live my life. It has dictated the social situations I allow myself to enter, the physical activities I participate in and whom I love. These sensitivities are my constant companions, both as a person and as a maker. For this thesis body of work I will explore the sensitive, intimate spaces of the female body through a series of mixed media sculptures incorporating fabric, thread, fired and unfired clay. I want to understand how these bodies function within themselves as well as how they function and live within a private, intimate, domestic space.

I have chosen the domestic space as a framework for these objects to live in for a myriad of reasons. The domestic space serves not only as a conceptual framework but also a literal one; I am using these objects – hooks, hangers, shelves, chairs, boxes – as an armature to hold up these bodies. I have closely investigated and contemplated spaces commonly found in a domestic setting, what is located there, who can access it, how it hung or folded or tucked away, how it is brought out and displayed and for whom the display is intended. I felt pulled toward the domestic space because of its obvious associations with the female as the traditional keeper of the home, but also for another reason: an opportunity to observe and watch these intimate spaces and what (or who) is in them.

A space is made private by virtue of who is allowed to see or enter it. I do not wish to create any sense of voyeurism or violation of these private spaces, but rather an invitation to enter into what is most tender and vulnerable, with the aim of understanding, sensitivity and awareness of the precariousness and preciousness of the intimacy.

Jen Davis’ photography, more than any artist, embodies the quality that I will strive for when creating this body of work. By making the public/private barrier permeable, she allows her body to be observed in small intimate moments. It is this true intimacy that I will seek to explore in this body of work, to understand the precarious nature of the relationship between a private space and a public space.

With this sense of precariousness in mind, I was first led to concentrate on exploring the nature and depth of boundaries and how they divide different spaces. My fascination with boundaries has manifested itself in many ways through my work. First was the boundary of skin, the layer between the human body and the rest of the world, an outer covering that is constantly exposed to the forces of the space outside of it. My interests then expanded to include the boundaries of social understanding, communication and interaction, and where a body can and cannot enter. In an effort to bring awareness to these boundaries and the spaces within them, I constructed a number of “line” pieces, beginning with “Watch the Red Line”, installed along the baseboards of the ceramics graduate studio space. This concept eventually progressed to “Boundary”, where the line was no longer thin and map-like but had expanded to a mass of flesh-like tangles forming a circle.

I can now understand how boundaries were important in developing the idea of the precariousness of intimate space. The boundaries between different kinds of space are forever changing and always permeable. Because these boundaries are always in flux, the space within it is always changing, winking in and out of sight. Access to an intimate space can be easily granted and just as easily snatched away. This is why I believe the spaces that I will create will be special and deeply affecting – they are not something one can find and keep easily. Intimacy with another human being, with an object, or with a specific space can be an intense, scary and satisfying thing. As a culture, we remain largely alienated from the intimacy of our own and each others' bodies. It is my hope that, through this body of work, I can restore an appreciation for the precariousness and rarity of that intimacy.

more photoness.

well, you big poo head, i *thought* i left that post as a draft...i wasn't done with it yet, so some more explanation was forthcoming. i don't know if i actually feel the same way as i did when i wrote it. can i come back to that later? i want to talk about your artist statement.

(oh, btw, i am rewriting my thesis proposal tonight to send to my committee for comments, so i will post that here later tonight, and would appreciate some suggestions or feedback)

ok, so. this is the first thing that caught me:

"The viewer of the work, on the other hand, has a broader view of the scenario unfolding, much more than I can understand from my limited perspective."

so, taking from the first paragraph, are you saying the viewer is the position of god? omniscient, i mean...they are getting the whole picture, while your senses are limited by desire (desire is suffering) and your own ego. that paragraph actually clarified a lot for me, though it was stuff i knew about your work, it was nice to see it so succinct and in one place.

"My work incorporates sculpture, installation, and performance, although the final product is a photograph."

knowing this (the process verses the final product) i think it's important to have sort of documentation of the process. maybe displaying part of the "set" with the photos? it seems a waste to not give some weight to that process and its physical results. there is something evocative about the realtionship between, say, seeing a play, and then walking onto an empty set where the play was, that was occupied by the actors.

there's a lot of theatre practice going on here...i wish i knew where to tell you to go to get more information on that. sadly, i left acting far too long ago to be of any use on that front.

"I use photography to flatten out space and further heighten this visual ambiguity. The limit of the a photograph’s frame is an opportunity to play with its boundaries. A form can be out of the picture but its shadow projected and layered onto forms within the frame."

i know you said you've had problems with photographers looking at your work, but i think this statement above is the best and first line of defense as to why you are using photography in particular. it makes perfect sense, you're not just taking a photo to take a photo, for a photo to be full of its photoness...there's a specific aim and reason. yes!

more later.

ps. so haha, you're just another nekkid person on the interwebs...

evolving statement

please give me feedback, B! Ideally this weekend still (almost done though, isn't it?). Included here is a picture that will be in a piece i am working on... it is not a piece in and of itself, but I thought you might like to see it in relationship to what we could do over summer. I will probably make it private soon-- it is too late to care right now.

I capture emotionally charged moments of myself in theatrical and densely layered sets. I explore my awareness of myself and the world in relation to personal emotions and experiences. In my scenes, I am in a similar position to a prisoner in Plato’s allegory of the cave. My face is covered, my view shortsighted, unable to look beyond my desires and the situations I have put myself in. The viewer of the work, on the other hand, has a broader view of the scenario unfolding, much more than I can understand from my limited perspective.

My work incorporates sculpture, installation, and performance, although the final product is a photograph. I seek to crystallize an emotionally charged moment. The emotions I represent are intense, immediate and ultimately fleeting; so too are the colors I use, the sets I construct and the materials I use. The sets are ephemeral, ready to be collapsed and stored away.

I layer materials with particular attention to light and shadow. For example, through lighting, a sphere could cast a shadow of a square. Or a flat surface can be made to look three dimensional. Through the layering of forms and the play of light, what is seen becomes unclear, perception is played with. I use photography to flatten out space and further heighten this visual ambiguity. The limit of the a photograph’s frame is an opportunity to play with its boundaries. A form can be out of the picture but its shadow projected and layered onto forms within the frame.

My visual choices support the feelings I aim to depict. Although arising from specific emotions and experiences, I hope these scenes are compelling, enigmatic and open-ended enough to be relatable.

P.S.-

whoa, I think those photos are beautiful. so pttttthhh. Surprised actually that you say that. Interested to hear specifically why.