Saturday, August 22, 2009

in continuation.

hey. i think we should continue on here. i kind of want to unpack a little more what happened while i was in CA.

also, it occurred to me that i didn't get those photos from your laptop...maybe you can send me a cd or something?

i'm going to go through my photos and post some on here.

miss you lots!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

bacon + viola


I am preparing a talk to my students about my work.
I see the spiritual connections and focus on duality of existence, mysticism bill viola does, but it is ridiculously simplistic to me and hokey (though can be pretty beautiful), but i feel like i might need to mention him.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Beekeeper.

thanks for the photos you sent today...they made me think about this one photographer who did the liner notes for Tori Amos' album The Beekeeper. Terrible album, but i was always impressed with the photos. The video for the first single off the album was always really beautiful (it's below too). i think her name is Aya Kato.








Thursday, May 7, 2009

OMG.

wow....yes. yes on artist statement. i need to talk to you about this, like, right now. regarding the sex / sexuality issue. i think you and are struggling with this, though in different ways. but i want to talk to you about it, not write it down here (it's a little too tender for me right now). a lot of the thinking i've been doing in regards to my work made me realize that i am hugely afraid of physical intimacy.

ok....i did already rewrite a bit of the thesis proposal (guess i am going to hand it in tomorrow...things have been terribly disorganized in the department, no one tells us anything), after RH and i had our talk yesterday. it's a lot better now, i think. i hope the grammar wasn't too terrible.

thesis + etc

I did not nitpick your thesis for grammar.  But I have now read it twice and find it clear, honest, and insightful. I hope you think so, too (fairly sure it sucks, give me a break :-) )I know you turn it in tomorrow (now today?), but I would still like to talk to you about it.

I have since revised and expanded my artist statement.  I have not reviewed my newest revision closely (so hopefully only a few little rough edges, maybe a few transitions?)... my last one was very clear, but i got from Annabeth who saw it on my desk when we were talking, that it was a bit superficial.  So I decided to pull out all the stops.  It is reaching in the sense that my work is still becoming what the statement is (although very almost there, more intensity/focus required in execution).  Annabeth said that although my new work is a thrilling leap, she sensed some timidity in my execution.  She wanted more overtness in some ways... more boldness.  I think the same principle applies to my statement, which I pretty much went to balls to the wall personal with.

Here it is:

I capture photographs of emotionally charged moments of myself in theatrical and densely layered sets.  I explore how sexual and romantic desire conflicts with spiritual desire for greater awareness of myself and the world. I am in a similar position to shackled prisoners in Plato’s allegory cave. In the allegory, the prisoners entire reality is of shadows cast by firelight from marionettes onto a cave wall.  Elated, terrified, and titillated by shadow, the prisoners are unaware that the cause of their suffering is a gross unreality.  
Sexual desire, analogous to the most titillating of all the shadows the prisoners see, is engrossing, overwhelming and, when unsatisfied, devastating. In the scenes I choreograph, I am naked, aroused, my face covered and my sight blocked. I am locked into gratifying my sexual and romantic desire. Hurt when the love and passion I give is icily rejected, I get still more controlled by desire, which causes suffering and dysfunction I am unable or afraid to acknowledge. Desire for personal growth sputters to a standstill.
The viewer of my work is able to empathize with my limited perspective as subject, but has a much broader view of the scenario unfolding. Instead of being in the subject’s masked position, the viewer has a different perspective and can see the mechanics and cause of the subject’s suffering. The viewer’s objectivity is analogous to, in Plato’s allegory, the view of a few prisoners who break free of their bounds.   Shackles loosened, the prisoners are able to stand up and look around for the first time.  Because their whole life was shadows on a wall, the freed are initially baffled by their new perspective of their old surroundings.  Soon, they realize that their whole lives were dictated by the puppets, a children’s plaything. They are finally able to understand the root of their suffering.  Through understanding, they are enlightened and empowered.
My work incorporates sculpture, installation, and performance, although the final product is a photograph. The emotions I represent are intense, immediate and ultimately fleeting; so too are the colors I use, the sets I construct and the materials I use.  The sets are ephemeral and loosely constructed, ready to be collapsed and stored away.
I layer materials with particular attention to the intensity of light and the illusion of shadow.  For example, through lighting, a sphere can cast a shadow of a square.  Or a flat surface can be made to look three dimensional.  Through the layering of forms and the play of light, what is seen becomes unclear, perception played with.  I use photography to flatten out space and further heighten this visual ambiguity.  The limit of a photograph’s frame is an opportunity to play with its boundaries.  A form can be out of the picture but its shadow projected and layered onto forms within the frame.
My visual choices support the stories of illusion, loss, and suffering I aim to depict.  I use spiritual iconography, such as shapes of religious symbols and ritualistic positions of my body to add another layer to the more overt erotic symbols in the scenes. The viewer sees scenes that are many layered and packed with forms, but upon closer inspection, might see that each layer and each form are metaphors that build an enigmatic and provocative narrative. 


Sunday, May 3, 2009

rewritten thesis proposal

i am fairly sure this sucks.

My life experience has been marked by a sensitivity and hyperawareness of my physical body. How I feel about my body, more than anything else, has informed how I live my life. It has dictated the social situations I allow myself to enter, the physical activities I participate in and whom I love. These sensitivities are my constant companions, both as a person and as a maker. For this thesis body of work I will explore the sensitive, intimate spaces of the female body through a series of mixed media sculptures incorporating fabric, thread, fired and unfired clay. I want to understand how these bodies function within themselves as well as how they function and live within a private, intimate, domestic space.

I have chosen the domestic space as a framework for these objects to live in for a myriad of reasons. The domestic space serves not only as a conceptual framework but also a literal one; I am using these objects – hooks, hangers, shelves, chairs, boxes – as an armature to hold up these bodies. I have closely investigated and contemplated spaces commonly found in a domestic setting, what is located there, who can access it, how it hung or folded or tucked away, how it is brought out and displayed and for whom the display is intended. I felt pulled toward the domestic space because of its obvious associations with the female as the traditional keeper of the home, but also for another reason: an opportunity to observe and watch these intimate spaces and what (or who) is in them.

A space is made private by virtue of who is allowed to see or enter it. I do not wish to create any sense of voyeurism or violation of these private spaces, but rather an invitation to enter into what is most tender and vulnerable, with the aim of understanding, sensitivity and awareness of the precariousness and preciousness of the intimacy.

Jen Davis’ photography, more than any artist, embodies the quality that I will strive for when creating this body of work. By making the public/private barrier permeable, she allows her body to be observed in small intimate moments. It is this true intimacy that I will seek to explore in this body of work, to understand the precarious nature of the relationship between a private space and a public space.

With this sense of precariousness in mind, I was first led to concentrate on exploring the nature and depth of boundaries and how they divide different spaces. My fascination with boundaries has manifested itself in many ways through my work. First was the boundary of skin, the layer between the human body and the rest of the world, an outer covering that is constantly exposed to the forces of the space outside of it. My interests then expanded to include the boundaries of social understanding, communication and interaction, and where a body can and cannot enter. In an effort to bring awareness to these boundaries and the spaces within them, I constructed a number of “line” pieces, beginning with “Watch the Red Line”, installed along the baseboards of the ceramics graduate studio space. This concept eventually progressed to “Boundary”, where the line was no longer thin and map-like but had expanded to a mass of flesh-like tangles forming a circle.

I can now understand how boundaries were important in developing the idea of the precariousness of intimate space. The boundaries between different kinds of space are forever changing and always permeable. Because these boundaries are always in flux, the space within it is always changing, winking in and out of sight. Access to an intimate space can be easily granted and just as easily snatched away. This is why I believe the spaces that I will create will be special and deeply affecting – they are not something one can find and keep easily. Intimacy with another human being, with an object, or with a specific space can be an intense, scary and satisfying thing. As a culture, we remain largely alienated from the intimacy of our own and each others' bodies. It is my hope that, through this body of work, I can restore an appreciation for the precariousness and rarity of that intimacy.



more photoness.

well, you big poo head, i *thought* i left that post as a draft...i wasn't done with it yet, so some more explanation was forthcoming. i don't know if i actually feel the same way as i did when i wrote it. can i come back to that later? i want to talk about your artist statement.

(oh, btw, i am rewriting my thesis proposal tonight to send to my committee for comments, so i will post that here later tonight, and would appreciate some suggestions or feedback)

ok, so. this is the first thing that caught me:

"The viewer of the work, on the other hand, has a broader view of the scenario unfolding, much more than I can understand from my limited perspective."

so, taking from the first paragraph, are you saying the viewer is the position of god? omniscient, i mean...they are getting the whole picture, while your senses are limited by desire (desire is suffering) and your own ego. that paragraph actually clarified a lot for me, though it was stuff i knew about your work, it was nice to see it so succinct and in one place.

"My work incorporates sculpture, installation, and performance, although the final product is a photograph."

knowing this (the process verses the final product) i think it's important to have sort of documentation of the process. maybe displaying part of the "set" with the photos? it seems a waste to not give some weight to that process and its physical results. there is something evocative about the realtionship between, say, seeing a play, and then walking onto an empty set where the play was, that was occupied by the actors.

there's a lot of theatre practice going on here...i wish i knew where to tell you to go to get more information on that. sadly, i left acting far too long ago to be of any use on that front.

"I use photography to flatten out space and further heighten this visual ambiguity. The limit of the a photograph’s frame is an opportunity to play with its boundaries. A form can be out of the picture but its shadow projected and layered onto forms within the frame."

i know you said you've had problems with photographers looking at your work, but i think this statement above is the best and first line of defense as to why you are using photography in particular. it makes perfect sense, you're not just taking a photo to take a photo, for a photo to be full of its photoness...there's a specific aim and reason. yes!

more later.

ps. so haha, you're just another nekkid person on the interwebs...

evolving statement

please give me feedback, B! Ideally this weekend still (almost done though, isn't it?). Included here is a picture that will be in a piece i am working on... it is not a piece in and of itself, but I thought you might like to see it in relationship to what we could do over summer. I will probably make it private soon-- it is too late to care right now.


I capture emotionally charged moments of myself in theatrical and densely layered sets. I explore my awareness of myself and the world in relation to personal emotions and experiences. In my scenes, I am in a similar position to a prisoner in Plato’s allegory of the cave. My face is covered, my view shortsighted, unable to look beyond my desires and the situations I have put myself in. The viewer of the work, on the other hand, has a broader view of the scenario unfolding, much more than I can understand from my limited perspective.


My work incorporates sculpture, installation, and performance, although the final product is a photograph. I seek to crystallize an emotionally charged moment. The emotions I represent are intense, immediate and ultimately fleeting; so too are the colors I use, the sets I construct and the materials I use. The sets are ephemeral, ready to be collapsed and stored away.


I layer materials with particular attention to light and shadow. For example, through lighting, a sphere could cast a shadow of a square. Or a flat surface can be made to look three dimensional. Through the layering of forms and the play of light, what is seen becomes unclear, perception is played with. I use photography to flatten out space and further heighten this visual ambiguity. The limit of the a photograph’s frame is an opportunity to play with its boundaries. A form can be out of the picture but its shadow projected and layered onto forms within the frame.


My visual choices support the feelings I aim to depict. Although arising from specific emotions and experiences, I hope these scenes are compelling, enigmatic and open-ended enough to be relatable.


P.S.-

whoa, I think those photos are beautiful. so pttttthhh. Surprised actually that you say that. Interested to hear specifically why.

Monday, April 27, 2009

photoness.

those photos are interesting but not particularly my taste...i think they're not formally beautiful enough for me. anyway, i am interested in hearing more about that crit. i think it's a little hairy when you adopt a medium like photo and then have photographers look at your work. it's a weird space. obviously, i've seen it happen, only the medium was clay.

so i am writing a proposal shortly about our potential collaboration, basically i want to work together with the hopes of generating some photos

Friday, April 24, 2009

LUKAS SAMARAS





Lukas Samaras Photo-Transformation (1973-1976)
I just got suggested him in my already infamous crit.
Alek

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Anne Walsh, take two.

is there a place to see her videos? i couldn't figure it out on her website.

you know what i loved, though? the part on the home page where is said

MORE?

YES.

i clicked it repeatedly. it felt strangely subversive.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

worklifelove.

ann walsh...beautiful stuff but almost on the edge of being too sterile for me. but megan might love her. the colors are really lovely. i love the fact that they are freestanding objects instead of being on the wall.

okay, so i want to see that doc. i don't have netflix anymore so if you could lend me your password at some point that would be great.

i also saw a documentary at NCECA, called "who does she think she is?" it is about female artists and the balance (or lack thereof) of family and creative practice and how these things are not supported in the same manner as they are with male artists. it was a really good, cathartic experience for me, but pretty much reiterated what i already knew to be true. it's depressing, really. i resent the decisions i feel like i am being forced to make in order to have a creative life. i don't actually feel i could give my studio practice the attention it deserves and have a family at the same time. i came to this conclusion at age 12, and i still feel the same way. it makes me sad, but it's a decision that i'm mostly okay with.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Sam Wagstaff + Robert Mapplethorpe

Just saw "Black White Gray:  A portrait of Sam Wagstaff and Robert Mapplethorpe "

I think that some of the content the striking images and perhaps the subject matter could resonate with both of us--
I could really see my work addressing sexuality more... in combo with the spiritual side of things that will always be there.  Like in my newest image, you haven't seen how it normally looks.  There is this big spike in my crotch.
Mapplethorpe reminds me anything is possible.
The photos Wagstaff collected were incredible---  some so captivating.  You need to watch this documentary.  Has patti smith in it a lot (I bet you like her?).  Available for instant viewing on netflix.  Maybe I can even give you my netflix password to watch if you don't have netflix anymore.
Documentary is inspiring and haunting.  I am letting all these possibilities creep into my view of things and it is kind of scary but also kind of titillating.

Ohh I just met Anne Walsh last week (CHECK OUT HER WORK).  She has a tattoo that looks a lot like the tattoos you posted.  A student tattooed her for a project the student was doing.  It is what darwin had on his hand. A two word phrase that was actually kind of sweet even though it was something that meant humans are no more than animals.. sweet in that it was darwin being humble... something "never better"  or something like that.  Right in the area between her thumb and first finger.

skin art.

oh my god. this blew my mind. i wish i could've read the whole article on WWD, but it's subscription based. her website is here, with her whole portfolio. her MFA is in photo from U of Wash.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

stage.

hey, so you should look into some info on theatre sets, lighting, etc, especially SCRIMS. have you ever seen these? you probably have if you've gone to any larger theatre productions. they are pieces of cloth that can appear solid or completely transparent depending on how you shine light on them. i am seeing potential all over that bitch.

i am really excited about that image....i really need to photograph the forms i've been making and get them to you. i have a dept crit on the 15th so i will send you what i have from that. i've been making body parts and perhaps putting them together with my own body might be an interesting tension.

i am kind of miserable here in Phoenix right now. major neck/shoulder pain right now (i threw out my neck? is that even possible?). i went for a massage today, and it made it better but not completely. plus i am in the let's get drunk and stay out til 3 room. i am sick of being made to feel that i am boring/dumb/lame for not wanting to get shitfaced all the fucking time.

i am updating i am updating i am updating

So I might eventually be nekkid in this composition.. or at least that was the original idea.
this is still a rough photo but it is getting there.
I guess I should say something about the relevance to our endeavors... 2-d and 3-d as a way to address liminal space.  Ambiguity in what you are seeing.  The blurring of edges.
Ohh my artist statement (in a previous post)-- first two paragraphs people responded to, last two, not so much.. and i get it..  I didnt actually connect all the new age shit in the last few paragraphs..  It is my first new statement really since umass.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Parkeharrison.

they were visiting artists at UMass in November. i'm not sure if the content will speak to you, but the process surely will...they spend months making "sets" to take photos of. very labor intensive. their website is here.







Sunday, March 29, 2009

images + words.

i'm eager to hear what you've been thinking since getting back from Fairfield. i hope you had a good time.

i was thinking about your photography ideas. lately i've realized how completely i am in love with the image. Roland Barthes said, "the image has the last word" (i think that's the second time i've quoted that? god, i'm obnoxious). i think my love of the image is closely tied with a lot of things in my life - my fascination with how images of women function in our culture, how images of bodies are desseminated throughout our culture, and how all these things communicate a rich mixture of lies, truth and everything in between. i also love text, i love economy of text, i love how words and language can be twisted and hybridized in so many interesting ways (i have a fascination with parsing apart the names of brand name drugs - try it sometime, it's fun). i have no idea how to incorporate text into my work, it is so, so hard and so loaded (this difficulty with text was actually my thesis for my BFA....i wasn't required to have a thesis, but i made one anyway).

obviously, this is why i love this lady:










i wrote a paper on her for a class last spring. it's weird loving Barbara Kruger and being around clay artists, no one has these interests and i can't really talk about them to anyone. sometimes i really think i should have just been a graphic designer. i would've been a lot happier (and not as poor).

Thursday, March 26, 2009

crap.

so, i kind of knew this was coming...not passing, i mean. i knew it wasn't there yet, but it still bothers me. i had a long talk with Magali after my review (we went to No Prob), and she said, essentially, that a lot of the stuff i was talking about in my proposal was so dense that some of my committee just didn't get it. which i don't know if i believe or not, but it was kind of funny.

do you think i should try to simplify my proposal for next go around? i got a lot of feedback saying it wasn't specific enough, which was annoying because i really felt like it was. the only thing i felt it was lacking was a wrap up conclusion type thing at the end.

i think i need to stop thinking about this. i'm still too upset.

Monday, March 23, 2009

philip guston





I decided to research him today. I was attracted to his work but didn't "get" why. But some of his later works are so captivating. They are about studio, about life, about advancing towards something greater even if they are ambiguous and cartoonlike. They are an image, they are not for antyhing but the canvas. He has created his own language through masked figures, shoes, and cigarettes. They are symbols that serve as an extension of himself so completely. He has totally created his own language that is poetic in a completely unique way. Okay, enough platitudes. I think his work might exist in that liminal ambiguous space. Or at least it comes from there.


"There is something ridiculous and miserly in the myth we inherit from abstract art. That painting is autonomous, pure and for itself, therefore we habitually analyze its ingredients and define its limits. But painting is 'impure'. It is the adjustment of 'impurities' which forces its continuity. We are image-makers and image-ridden. There are no wiggly or straight lines..." - Philip Guston


"Though Guston has run through the flaccid seventies with a spine of masterpieces unparalleled in quantity, brilliance, ambulation, and risk by anything in the history of american painting, more of us still don't "get" him than do.
So we come back all the way around: this business of "getting" and "not getting" art. What we ask from art, from paintings in particular, is, if not immediate recognition, then at least the security of knowing that we will eventually differentiate impulse from product. A niche will be found. A style or a subject matter, a consistency of attention or pose, either homage to or illustration of a radiant idea eventually will emerge.
But with Guston it hasn't."
- Ross Feld


In other news, yes, I will respond in posts. In response, I feel a little timid to reveal my face yet, too. But I want to explore why that is. Why do I not want to expose myself? why do I want to over or use mask?